Would You Tell Me I Should Go?
by hedwigmail
Summary: A Barefic to If I Told You from The Wedding Singer. Pairing: J&P. Peter stands outside their dorm and contemplates his feelings while Jason's inside doing the same.


**If I Told You**

**By I Caught My Breath or Hedwigmail**

**A/N: Well, I know I've already done a Barefic to this song, but it was nagging me to make another. So I did. Hehehehe. Different pairings though. I personally think this one is better, but tell me what you think!**

Peter sat under the window to his dorm, looking up at an unseeing Jason. These feelings were strange and new. And very, very, very un-Christian. But so strong.

_Standing here underneath your window  
Searching for some kind of sign  
_

He thought back to the past few months, when he had met Jason. When they had first locked eyes and Peter felt the whole was whole for once. When he had first spent a sleepless night in a bed next to Jason's, thinking about him and looking at his face. When his heart broke for the first time as Ivy placed her hand on Jason's thigh, sat on his lap, hugged him.

_Every move, every tiny gesture  
Only proves you're not mine  
_

_God, what am I supposed to do?_ Peter thought, confused. He was not supposed to be feeling this way about a boy. The Bible said it clearly. So had the Priests, his parents, the nuns, even the other students. No one is supposed to feel this way for someone of the same gender. It's a sin. A deadly sin. An unforgivable sin.

_I could write you a thousand love songs  
Search the world for the perfect tune and rhyme  
But what good would when it seems I'm out of time  
_

He slumped over in the bench he was sitting on, crying. _What am I supposed to do?_ he thought. _How am I supposed to act?_

_If I told you  
All the words I've yet to say  
Would they matter  
Or would you simply turn and walk away  
If I hold you  
Would you tell me I should go  
Do I chance it  
Or would it just be better not to know_

Jason stood in his dorm, in front of the full-length mirror. He had on his new basketball jersey, and had been told to try it on for size. They had just announced the team today. He was first string on the Varsity Team. The only freshmen to make it, and he was first string.

_Who's that boy with the perfect future  
His reflection says it all_

But recently, he was mostly confused. He couldn't focus well on anything, and he was used to being able to buckle down and excel. Well, there was one thing her could focus on. One thing he could think about for hours and never get bored. And it often seemed like it was his new favorite pass time. Thinking, day-dreaming, wondering about… him.

_  
Trying hard to pretend he's eager  
Searching for some way to stall_

_What was wrong with him? I'm supposed to like girls. I have to like girls. It's like a family legacy. I have to like girls! _Jason began to pace, tossing his basketball around as he did so, not really noticing how perfectly and simply he threw and caught it. _I'm supposed to grow up, go to Notre Dame, star on their Basketball team, join the NBA, marry a supermodel, have children, retire and die old. Nowhere in there is there supposed to be a boyfriend. Or feelings for the most amazing boy ever created. It's not part of the agenda. How can I supposed to fix this? Fix myself?_

_  
So unsure of the road he's chosen  
Faced with feelings his heart should not allow  
On thing's certain, it seems  
That he just can't turn back now  
If he can, tell him how_

Jason slumped down on his bed, moaning softly. He tossed the basket ball into his bag for use the next day and got quickly change out of his jersey into a tee and boxers. He climbed into his bed and resolved to figure out this mess later in the week. He drifted off into a restless sleep with dreams about a certain brown haired, brown eyed boy with an unhealthy obsession with theater.

Peter decided that he could finally return to the dorm with a limited amount of awkward sexual tension and conversation. By the time he got upstairs, Jason was fast asleep. He quickly undressed and slipped into his respective bed, clad only in boxers. It seemed as if tonight was going to be another night spent watching Jason from a far.

_If I told you  
All the words I've yet to say  
Would they matter  
Or would you simply turn and walk away  
If I hold you (if I hold you)  
Would you tell me I should go  
Do I chance it  
Or would it just be better not to know_

_Would it just be better...  
Not to know_

**A/N: Okay, odd ending, I know, but I think it worked. Kinda. Anywho… Review! Please? I'll love you forever! Lol.**


End file.
